Still, Still, Still... waiting.

Here it is, December 30, and we are homeless.  I was joking about that for the first week, but now it is serious, and we are all feeling it.

We are literally Homeless! I have to document the play by play (or mishap by mishap more appropriately) so when I look back on this in many, many years I might be able to laugh at the insidiousness of it all!

We were supposed to close on our house on December 20,
move in and have a wonderful Christmas in our new home!

Insert "Murphy's Law" here, because you name it, think of it, consider it or wonder if it might go wrong, it did and has.  The movers came and packed up all our stuff (except the few days of clothes and some sleeping bags I left out for the interim) on Wednesday, then they packed it all up in a truck on Thursday.  Thursday afternoon, we found out the underwriters needed more information about Tim's schooling, from 2000! Hello! that was 13 years ago!  Also, they may need 3 years of tax records.  Wellll, that's all packed up in a truck that's driving away! We are up a creek without a paddle, and now without a canoe. My sweet friend Rachel came over to say goodbye, listened to my saga update and dried my tears (Bless her heart!) and took the girls for a few hours while I finished up with the moving truck and driver. The truck drove away, I had another meltdown (sobbing tears has been a daily norm for me lately, that alternating with the extreme nausea and consequently weight loss). We were invited to dinner at our good friends house, Chrysi Davis, and that was good because I felt so out of sorts and homeless and home sick and alone because Tim was in Charlotte and I was doing this part of the move alone.

We came home from dinner and the house was so empty. So empty, it felt like nothing I'd ever felt before. The worst case of homesickness I'd ever felt multiplied by 10.  I was barely able to keep it together as I read the girls a Christmas story book (How the Grinch stole Christmas and the Sweet Smell of Christmas) because Christmas was only a few days away and it was feeling really NOT Christmas-y.  I tucked them in in their sleeping bags, and proceeded to cry more by myself in my empty bedroom.

Of course, I didn't sleep a wink that night, because of nerves, not knowing whether we would be approved to get the loan for the home we were supposed to close on at noon on Friday December 20. How we got a closing appointment before loan approval is beyond me, but really was the first of many mistakes of this whole moving/home buying process.  I got up at 5am and started loading our few personal things into the van to head up to Charlotte. It's a 4 hour drive. Our home in Woodstock was empty, messy with dirt, and I could barely breathe with all of the anxiety I was feeling.  The girls could tell I was out of sorts, but I had to do my best to keep it together.

They woke up when I took their sleeping bags to load them in the van.  We hit the road at 6:15 am.  It was dark, and we were just ahead of traffic, so I just turned on soft hymns to do my best to invite the Spirit to comfort me as I drove.  We got up to North Carolina around 10:00, and my sweet brother David called me to get our new address.  It was too bad, he got an earful of my tears and anxiety.  He was sweet to listen, he had no idea what was going on. I'd been trying to keep family informed, but it was such a minute by minute roller coaster, I could barely keep on myself.  I got to our "house" (the one we are supposed to be buying) at 10:45 and met Tim there. The girls were so excited to see it and walk around the yard. We couldn't go in because it's not ours yet, but it's close...

We went and checked into a hotel where we have lived for the last 2 weeks.  We didn't know what to do. Noon came and went with no call from the bank/underwriters as to whether we are even approved for the loan.  We are just waiting in the room. The girls are wanting to get excited for Christmas, for a house, for the future, but Tim and I are just sick in our guts about what to do if we don't get approved. Do we go find a rental? Do we try to find another lender that knows what the !@#% they are doing! What!!  The girls just want to go play, have their toys, go to the house, be kids.  We are all in the same room, just waiting.

After 3-4 phone calls of "I don't know, I haven't heard from the underwriters" at 8:30 pm the phone call comes from the bank that the underwriters approved us!  Sobbing. Sobbing! SOBBING!!! Tears of relief from both me and Tim.  Emma takes it all in, Audrey just keeps asking why we are crying, and Kennedy wants candy.  We are so relieved, but still have so much to get taken care of before the next closing appointment on Monday.

Friday night we actually slept for the first time in weeks. Saturday we went furniture browsing/shopping and also looked at some dogs available for adoption.  It was a beautiful day and we had fun together dreaming of decorating the house for Christmas.  Sunday we went to church and met some wonderful new friends at our new ward.  We were invited to dinner with the Fannin's in our ward, and they had a fun Christmas Advent activity that actually helped it feel like Christmas, for the first time all season.

Monday morning I had a feeling of dread when I woke up. It was awful, and I just want that sinking feeling to go away forever!! Tim went to work, mostly going through the motions, then at 11:30 I got the call that confirmed the sinking feeling.  The bank made a mistake in our paperwork and failed to have us sign a disclosure form that needs 7 days to process before the date of closing.

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!

I was at the mall just killing time with the girls. All the hustle and bustle of 2 days before Christmas going on around us.  I took the girls back to the car, cried and told them we were going to Dad's office. We drove the 30 minutes over to Kannapolis to Tim's office.

So, we decided that if we can't be in our house, we are going to the beach for Christmas!!!  So that's what we did. Tim booked a hotel at Wrightsville Beach at 1:30 and we were on the road by 3pm.

That was a wonderful reprieve from this harried craziness of a nightmare home buying process. I'll post about that with pictures next post.

We came back from Wrightsville beach Sunday night, ate dinner at Bob Evans (the girls new favorite place to eat, it's like Marie Calendar's). We picked up some packages from some other people we met at Church last week, the Woolley's.  They picked them up off our porch of the "house" because we were gone for the week. It was from Gaga and our annual calendar from Costco.  We went to bed, and Tim was feeling pretty crummy, not associated with the crazyness, but with a cold.

Tim woke up with a cold, and headed to work.  I didn't have a feeling of dread, but was anxious. I did some laundry (because we all only have 3 outfits I've done 10 loads of laundry this week between time and the beach sand!!) and then we went to the Mall.  We were at Barnes and Noble and Tim called with more bad news. Flash back to last Monday when I was at Barnes and Noble and Tim called with bad news. I may never be able to go to Barnes and Noble again without anxiety!! We need to pay $2000 more at closing!! With some prayers and phone calls, Tim's parents deposit $4000 cash into our account until money can transfer from our savings account to pay them back. They are angels! Thank you so much!!!  We wired the money to the attorney (that's how they do it in NC).  Now, as I type this, we found out the $950.00 benefit for using Deseret First Credit Union for this loan tells us we don't qualify for the benefit.  !@#$%^&&^%$# That was the ONLY reason we used them!! I am so DONE with this whole thing!! Tim is even more done than me, I only have experienced about 20% of the drama, he has filtered much of it for my sanity.  We are at our end. We feel like we have been completely wrung out spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially and any other way a person can be wrung out!  I had to write this down, and I know there is more that will happen between now and Thursday morning when we are scheduled to close, and I'll write that later, but for now, at least this much is written.

I can see how people would be driven to drink.  To just be able to relax. I can see how people could lose their family, the craziness of this has nearly driven me mad.

I take away from this a greater appreciation for a home. A greater appreciation for my kids to feel like they have a home.  To not worry about a messy house, because I'll have a house. To not worry when things go wrong, because I have a place to rest and be with my family. I have a greater appreciation for ALL Tim does for me, for our family and he continues to amaze me.

We will have a home soon. I hope it will be Thursday at 15313 Moate Court, Huntersville, NC, but I'll take a safe home for my family anywhere.