Thursday, August 26, 2010

a sample

some pictures of our lovely home in all of it's pristine cleanliness.  Fresh cookies just out of the oven too...
Granite countertops, tumbled stone backsplash
16" porcelain tile flooring
Tim finished the tumbled stone detail on the backsplash...beautiful work.
Fresh clean carpets
Fresh paint in the bedroom
Finished tile in master bath
Travertine flooring and wanescotting and tumbled stone tile shower detail
master tub with travertine wanescotting
playroom with built-in shelves for toy/book storage
Girls room
front room with pool table and finally finished the paint in the hall.  Yup. It's beautiful.  Tell everyone, we need a buyer. soon. Thanks.

Preschool for Audrey

She is so excited to go to Miss Becky's.  Yay Preschool!  Kennedy cried, she is sad and lonely for 4 hours a week now.  Soon enough for her though.

Monday, August 23, 2010

This has been a .... week.  You name it. I've been feeling it.  Mostly I decided I need to put in writing all the amazing blessings in my life.  Number one is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  If I didn't have that compass, then this would be so much worse.  My next in line is my sweetheart Tim. He has rocked this week. He's supported me as well as turned in all of his school asignments on top of preparing the house for cleaners, carpet cleaners, landscapers and moving out 3 truckloads of our stuff to "stage" the house for potential buyers.  To say the least, he's exhausted.  I am so thankful for his support and enthusiasm for the future.  I've come to the realization that wondering what I could have done differently or if there is anything we could do to save the house so we don't have to move is fruitless.  We are at a point in our lives we need to move on.  So much of  life is comparing ourselves to others or waiting for others to go first.  I'm one of the worst at that.  I know I need to change that.  This is a great opportunity for us to really let go and put our faith into action.  I have so many things running through my head, and I am getting better at filtering out the "poor me"stuff and lingering on the hopeful stuff, like a poster I had in my room for a long time of Christ with the words, " I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it" and "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger" and "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but spirit beings having a human experience."  All of these things are in my head, and I'm so grateful for the support of the Spirit and my family.  All this hopefulness doesn't make the pain and the grief any less evident, but it does mend the sting and heals my heart and grants me hope for our future. 
Audrey put it best yesterday, she said, "C'mon mom, Let's get goin'!!" as she's swinging her arm like she's ready to go conquer the world.  She was talking about leaving Sacrament meeting and going to primary, but still, she makes me smile with her positivity.  No looking back, only bright futures.

Monday, August 16, 2010

lllets get ready to ramblllle...

Okay, so it's been a little bit. And we have been crazy busy.  Now that my excuses are out of the way, lets get to the reasons.  Kennedy has been potty training.  That speaks for itself.  I thought we had it down, but then after 3 weeks she just decided to go back to wetting where and when she wants.  Okay fine, under any other circumstances she would be disciplined and watched and corrected right away.  I got out the 5 leftover pullups and told her they had to last through the weekend till we can buy more, so I can not have to worry about the carpets getting anymore soiled than they already are.  Why do I care so much about the carpets you wonder? Well, we'll get to that. 
I titled my post with the intro to wrestling, get ready to rumble. So we've taken some blows in the last year.  It's been a year this week since I was let go from the dental office I had loved in Gilbert.  I had been praying for healing in my heart for a long time.  It was really hard for me to get over, for reasons known only to me.  So, I started running in January to take care of me and my body because I had so much residual anxiety from that and other life stresses combined, that I felt I was gonna have a heart attack.  So, now I've been feeling the positive effects of training for my half marathon in November, and feeling really strong.  Underneath it all, I still was having difficulty with that event.  Then, a few weeks ago I had some sweet release from the burden I'd been carrying from that experience.  I feel like I'm able to smile from the inside again, and I'd found myself again, a bit different from the experience, but better having gone through it.  Now having shared that, lets get back to the carpets. 
We need them cleaned, not for us, but for the sale.  We are selling our lovely home.  We are sad to sell it, but if we don't sell it and try to pay the bank they'll take it from us.  I know this is a pond many people are in, but we feel like we were totally blindsided by this.  The bank with our 2nd called the loan due.  No arguing, swaying, negotiating about it.  So, here we are with Tim 5 weeks and 18 credits (yes all at once and all online) away from his Bachelors degree, we get to finish all the projects on our house we have been putting off, we are getting a cleaning crew, a landscaping crew and a moving crew and getting the house ready to sell.  We have been honest with our finances our whole lives, and for this to happen is the worst slap in the face at the same time as a boot in the backside.  We figured here we are, we can't change the situation, and we know that the Lord will provide all the things we need.  Now, our opinion of what we need and the Lord's opinion of what we need will likely need to be collaborated, but we have faith and know that He is in charge.  We hope to sell the house without having to foreclose, because that will X Tim from all the jobs he's worked so hard in school to get.  Foreclosures block security clearances for Federal law enforcement.  SO, if we sell, great, if not, then we know we need to go another direction.  I am thankful for the dark tunnel I have been through since this time last year, and am so thankful for the short period of sunshine I felt before being asked to enter another one.  The kids are so excited for a new adventure.  They are faithfully resillient.  We don't know where or when or how we'll go, but we do ask for the Lords blessing to help us sell our house.  But it's  not what we want, but what the Lord wants and we are at peace with that. 
Obviously it's been a little bit since we found out this news, that's why I'm hopeful, but I won't deny myself lots of tears to feel better.  I absolutely love our ward, our neighbors, and our home.  But, it is just a house, our Home will come with us wherever we go. 
And you are all welcome there. Wherever it may be.
Thanks for reading.

Monday, August 9, 2010