Well, the new year is not so new anymore, 1/12 through and time marches steadily onward. We have had a busy month to say the least, most of which I've mostly struggled finding some balance with what I need and what I want, and then getting overwhelmed at what I have to do each day. Mostly, I've been struggling with my gratitude. It's ironic, because that is my goal/theme for this year. Gratitude. Maybe I need to figure out how to "do" grateful, rather than "be" grateful. Kind of like the way President Kimball changed the words of "I am a Child of God" from "be" to "do" because all of those wonderful qualities that I desire to increase within myself, are verbs. Gratitude. Love. Service. Patience. Charity. Sometimes I just need to write it down, and then remember to look at it again.
One thing I want to write that I'll remember is the phrase: "Reality is your present." I heard that on a discussion in Gospel solutions for families I think in this episode that talks about being present wherever you are at. It's 5 months tomorrow since we left Arizona. I miss it so much. I think I've been having culture shock, not just from the time zone change, the climate change (less sun and heat), and leaving my family and friends, but from the complete turnover of lifestyle change. I loved working as a dental hygienist, and I miss it so much, like my right arm has been cut off. Also, I have struggled to keep up with my running, because I don't have buddies to go with, it's deadly on the streets, so the treadmill is my only resource (which most times, just doesn't get it done for me). I don't know what the heck I'm doing at home, and have struggled to feel like what I'm doing is making a difference. Tim works so much, and I expected that, but not at all did I expect to miss him so much during the days. While I was working up until we moved, we spent so much more time together, and I didn't realize it until now I don't have that. My girls are all growing up so fast, Kennedy will start Kindergarten this fall, and I don't know what happened to the last 5 years.
So that is what brings me to this phrase "reality is your present." I can wish away the days that we were somewhere else, that the girls were still young and at home, or that we had more kids, or that we owned our house instead of rented, or a myriad of other things, but then missing becomes my reality, and I will miss what is really happening. I want to realize what a great gift the present truly is, and to enjoy it That is why I set a goal to be more grateful, and we have been, too. I made a "bucket of blessings" that we write our blessings on and are filling it up. It is fun to see the girls grab a slip of paper and fill it out and put it in, just on their own. It is good that they are being grateful too.
As far as events, January was filled with a few. The girls started in a beginner gymnastics class at the rec center, and the coach looked like she needed some help, so I'm helping out with that and I love it! I didn't realize that all the lessons and classes I was blessed with as a kid were preparing me to become a teacher. I am teaching my kids music/piano/violin lessons, now helping them with gymnastics which I loved as a kid, and hopefully along the way, teaching them how to be grateful and maybe even happy. I know this is pretty disjointed, but that's what happens after a long time between posts. I don't like to take precious time away from Tim when he's home, so unless this gets posted during the day, it doesn't happen. I have a lot of pictures to upload and I'll do that this week to share with those who we are far away from. This month is going to be great, the kids have a week off school in 2 weeks and we are going to have some adventures.
Tim hopefully will be able to be home a bit earlier starting this week, he's had an extremely busy month in preparation for and during the semi-annual temple shut-down for maintenance. That is all finished tomorrow, then hopefully he'll be home some more.
