ironic

I am still so grateful, because of all the things in the last post, but I find it ironic that when I start to feel a little settled and some peace, the tables turn, or in this case get temporarily pulled out from under me completley. I was leaving work on Friday and as I wish the doctor happy birthday for the weekend, he says, "hey can I talk to you a minute..." and he fires me. I should have taken back my birthday wish.

It is still settling in, and I am so sad because I have so many dear friends and patients at that office at Gilbert Center Dentistry, and co-workers I've worked with since the day I started practicing dental hygiene 5 years ago. I am sad that was all taken away from me, but I am so thankful for Tim and my family that support me when I want to crawl into a hole for a few days. I see now yet another black tunnel I need to go through. I know there is light on the other side, and I will be okay, it's just doing it again so soon that makes it so difficult. I packed up all my stuff, my pictures on the wall, my diplomas, my pictures on the computer, and left my key to the office. I will feel better next week, but for right now, I just feel like cacka . I hope the reason he fired me will be resolved, though I feel a lot like a scape goat when really the economy is to blame for him not making his piles of money, not me letting patients go without wrangling them into doing treatment. My goal has always and will always be to take care of the patient, and they will take care of me. I have a new blog about my professional growth too, check it out at kellieharperRDH.blogspot.com

Because

I just have to say I'm thankful.

"When upon lifes billows you are tempest tossed,

when you are discouraged thinking all is lost.

Count your many blessings name then one by one,

and it will surprise you what the Lord has done."

We all have been and are still going through some really tough times. (That's the sugar-coated phrase.) I feel so blessed. My kiddos have been really healthy for the most part aside from regular sniffles and fevers. Tim has been plugging along through school. I have been so blessed with having steady work to keep us floating, and we have been able to get this far with both of our educations without having to rely on financial aid, until now. I am so thankful for what I know in my heart. My head tends to be crazy and forget what's most important, but I know there is a plan for me and my family. I can't see it, but I know it is a great one.

I am especially thankful for the blessing of having a positive attitude. I get it from my ancestors near and far and I am so thankful for it. It's a refiners fire to have to make life decisions that you didn't want to make, but when you are at the crossroads and you have to choose you find out what you are made of. The hardest part for me is I tend to look at what I used to have thinking it is what I wanted rather than looking further along my path and hoping for brighter and better opportunities. I know it is because I'm a creature of habit. I have a lot of anxiety about change. Too much anxiety. I have really remembered how to "let go and let God" which is a phrase taught to me by my mother, the queen of life lessons of which I am also thankful for.

The lessons I've learned about myself lately are (and I really already knew these, but they've been hit home recently) that

• I'm really stronger than I think.
• I don't need do it all today, or tomorrow; if it is really important, it will get done soon enough (that is a tough one).

That is pretty much it. If I can remember those two valuables, then I'm on the right track and hopefully I won't have to go through a "learning lessons" challenge again any time soon. But if I do, I know I will not only handle it, but be better for it. Here are my greatest blessings in all their honesty and and personality!

"nana nana boo boo!"

"cheeser!"

"does this make me look taller?"

"Milk and cookies makes EVERYTHING better!!"

"And who couldn't use a chocolate kiss?!"

Mix Family Reunion

I am so grateful for my wonderful family. The traditions of family is perpetuated despite the obvious challenges of food, number of children and space to accomodate, approx 70 people all because we believe. I believe family is the thread that weaves yesterday with tomorrow and we are the piece that connects it together. I am so grateful I was able to go up to Salt Lake to participate in this wonderful event. I missed Tim and the girls terribly, but I am also thankful I was able to help with so many other kiddos that were there. My grandma Mary Mix was in wonderful spirits and at 90 years young was the star of the show. I was able to see cousins I haven't seen for over 6 years as well as their spouses and children and it had been no time at all. There are lots of pictures, I'll post more when I can.

Grandma Mary, Kellie, Chris

The Croshaw's beautiful home and yard

Grandma Mary

My dad, Jeff

Wicked Awesome!

I beleive... that everyones soul/spirit has a language that speaks clear language to the mind. You know, when you experience it (in any sense) everything is clear. I believe that my soul language is musical. When I found out (about 2 months ago) that Wicked was coming to Gammage at ASU I told myself, I gotta get tickets. I called up my friend Tara to see if she would go with me, and we searched for tickets. The only available tickets were for the 4th of July weekend. I searched for the best tickets and click click click purchased them. Only... I got them for 4th of July matinee rather than July 2nd when she could go. Oops. So, I was with two tickets and nobody to go with me. I called my mom who was out of town and asked if she would come even though I knew she was planning a family party at her house. She was tickled that I called and so excited to go. We went and had lunch and feasted on the wonderful story and music of the show. I admit, I cried. A lot. Not because it was sad, but I finally had given ear to my soul that loves art and music and theatre and it was screaming so loud I cried and I loved it. I am done with my lack of music and art and hope that when it comes back to town I can take my girls. I believe it is a way for me to connect with my girls just like I know I am connected to my mother with that voice. She is where I learned it from, now it is my responsibilty to teach it to my girls (tough job, but somebody's got to do it ;-) and the show must go on!

Trip to Art museum for Youth in Mesa. It was fun, cutesy and geared for kids. It is surely a place you should go at least once, Tim felt it was a bit of an "Ikea" museum because all the furniture and displays were from Ikea, but it worked. It was a fun escape from the heat. Then, we had a gift card for Chevy's restaurant so we used it for lunch. The girls did great and the food was good too. Tim and I are trying to venture out more with the girls to let them practice their public behavior more often, and it is of course a work in progress. It was fun for me to spend the day with the kids. I've been blessed with being scheduled with work so my days at home are much more limited.

Camping...or bust?

Well, we expected to go up to Fools Hollow lake for camping last weekend, but *SNAP* the rest of everyone else was there on Wednesday and therefore the facility was full and what kind of freakin'g world do we live in where you can't just "go camping" without reservations for a spot that will put you back $20-$30 per night!!! Breathe... Okay, I'll admit, there should be some planning involved with a vacation, even camping, but it was over the top crazy crowded up north out of the valley. I will admit we were so lucky as to find a spot that wasn't reserved for Friday night, and the campground host was kind enough to allow us to stay at a site until Saturday but then we had to be out by 1 to let the reserved group come in. After all the work Tim put in getting everything ready, it was so stressful wondering if we would even find a spot. For that one night, we did enjoy the cool air, letting the kids wander around, get dirty, eat camp food, and break in our new (to us) camptrailer we got a few months ago. So the lesson learned is... you gotta camp for a week, or else we need to move to a state where we can be more spontaneous with our planning and not have to compete with half a million (or 1.4 million to be more precise) phoenicians who want to escape the summer heat for a weekend. We'll see. Until then we'll take what we can get whenever we can get it I guess. And if anyone has tips on how to get around the crowds, please send them my way!!

Kennedy and Mom

Tim and his Girls

Cheeser!!

Audrey pickin' flowers

Marshmallows! Yummm

Number next...!!!

So, a while ago I wrote about all the cars Tim and I have had since we've been married, and of course the list continues to lengthen, and also his interests have turned to vintage Brittish bikes like the BSA he got when he bought the Truck that now pulls our camp trailer etc. etc. etc... The BSA has gone the way of most of the cars/trucks/bikes we've had and in it's place (because there is just something wrong with an empty garage) is this beauty. I joked about when Tim would surprise me with a "treat" in the garage, and considering the circumstances in which we all find ourselves financially, I was super surprised to get this. Tim is fult tilt in school and still is able to keep up with 3 kiddos (girls none-the-less) and manage to make money on everything he buys and sells on Craigslist. So I continue to be the lucky beneficiary of his awesome deals and skills. It is one of those things in life where you can have your cake (or little red sports car) and eat (drive) it too!!

This is a 1968 MG-B. It is all that it appears to be.

looking forwad

We're headed out of the blistering heat to camp in ShowLow, and when we come back I will be ready to post all the fun we've been having this summer so far. Hope everyone had a great 4th!